don't tell me ( james )

[noah christopher james]

Lucy had some sort of rehearsal for something or other. Noah had told her that he would hang around and wait for her so they could out to dinner. It was their anniversary and while most people laughed at celebrating every month, Noah knew how important it was to remember every single month how much time has gone by and how much more time they wanted to go by. He wasn't really sure what to do with himself while waiting so he just wandered the halls.

Eventually his feet carried him to the auditorium. The only reason Noah had ever been in there was for assemblies, award ceremonies and performances that included Lucy. He figured it'd be empty so why not go ahead in. Opening the door slowly, Noah heard the faint echo of the door opening into the empty room. He peeked his head in and noticed that the lights were dim, signaling to him that no one else was in there. Noah walked in, closing the door behind him so that it shut completely. He turned around and looked into the empty seats. How could Lucy stand to perform in front of all those people?

Sure Noah could play a game in front of hundreds of people but when he was playing, it was like he was in a whole other world. The noises of crowd certainly kept him going but as far as having to look at the crowd, that was an issue he would never have to deal with. As he looked toward the stage and walked down the aisle, he started to hum. Noah had never really been a singer. The guys would give him hell if they knew that he did sing. He sang to Lucy just like she had sung to him when they first met. He sang to their baby. His humming got slightly louder as he walked to the stage, placed his hands on the edge of it and looked up at all the lights.

[/size]

[james matthew walker]

Again. James slammed his fist against the wall. He could never control his temper, not even when he needed to the most. It wasn't like he wasn't used to all of it: the name-calling, the insults, the threats, even the physical abuse. But never before had everyone around him been so indifferent. The other students didn't seem to care. The counselor at the school looked the other way. Even his social worker advised him to "be a big boy" and deal with it.

He was gay. Bisexual, technically, but he was last seen kissing a boy at a party, so who was to know the difference? But it didn't matter either way. He was gay, and therefore he was a target. Admittedly it wasn't as bad as it had been at some other schools, but somehow it was always the jocks that went after him. Apparently the troubled gay artist was such a stereotype that they had the right to abuse him.

The auditorium was dark. Perfect. A refuge. A dark cave. The door was unlocked, and he swung it wide without a thought. It slammed behind him, but he was already far down the aisle, halfway to the stage. Only then did he hear the humming. He stopped and stared, letting his eyes adjust. Finally they did so, and his face burned such a bright red that he was thankful it was dark. Noah. Of all people, it was Noah, the bullies' jock buddy. But, he had to admit, their hot jock buddy. Of all the people in the school, of all the attractive men, he found himself infatuated with the one he had the least chance with. A football player, dating a girl, friends with the ones who beat him up... no. He didn't have a chance in hell.

Still, the door had slammed. There was no turning back now. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

[noah christopher james]

Noah certainly admired Lucy's courage to be up on stage all the time. She was really talented and was constantly told so. Noah was proud to have her as his fiance. His thoughts than began to race to being married to her. He wanted to wait until after she graduated high school because then they would both be legally old enough and their baby would be old enough to be in the wedding as either the ring bearer or the flower girl. He sort of hoped it would be a boy so he could teach him how to play football and be just like his daddy. A huge smile appeared on Noah's face and his hands tapped the stage ever so slightly while humming.

A loud slam echoed through the auditorium, making Noah jump. Who the hell slams a door that large in a place where echoing is bound to happen? Noah turned around, almost angry that someone was being that rude when he saw James Walker turn the corner and stand there, staring at him. Noah gave him a huge disappointing look and turned around when the junior talked to him. He was really rude. What kind of bug crawled up his ass this morning? Noah was already starting to get frustrated.

"It's free range Walker. Anyone can come in here if it's unlocked," He said calmly. He figured James hated him purely because of the past week, the jocks had been making fun of James for being gay. Noah, being a jock was naturally associated with his asshole teammates. "Listen Walker, no need to be rude to me okay? I've done nothing to you and I won't because I'm not a jerk like my friends," he told James, straight up truth.

[/size]

[james matthew walker]

James shrugged. "Sure. Whatever. You won't do anything... you know, except your girlfriend." Sure, it was a low blow, but James wasn't in the mood for a less offensive comeback. Normally he was content to let things like that slide, but Noah was pushing it, simply by being on the football team. Maybe he hadn't done anything personally, but he also hadn't stopped it. They were his friends, and he'd admitted it. Wasn't it in his best interest to get them to stop, if only so James wouldn't fight back against them?

"Besides," he continued, "you don't need to do anything else. You've already done plenty." He left his final comment cryptic. This argument had already started, indirectly, because of his sexuality. Letting on to the fact that he thought Noah was cute would only make the situation worse. It would embarrass him, for one, and it would give his friends a lot more to use against him. After something like this, there was no way Noah wouldn't give them that sort of information, and that was the last thing that he wanted to get around the school. Sure, he was gay, but any crushes were kept to himself.

[noah christopher james]

Noah could simply look at this kid and tell there was some serious emotional damage done. Noah shook his head in disappointment at his friends as the little twerp spat out some nasty words in a nasty tone. "Excuse you Walker. It was one time and I love her. I'm going to marry her so my sex life is none of your business. Never has been unless you have some sort of obsession with me," he snapped back at James. Noah wasn't normally mean but anyone who made fun of or snarled at his and Lucy's sex life or the fact that they were having a baby, Noah lost it. It wasn't fair. How could one night completely change their lives and everyone's views on them? If Noah knew that all this fighting with Tori and Lucy would happen and the jealousy that caused Tori and Finley to stop talking to each other and now this, Noah would not have gone to that party.

With James' next comment about Noah already doing enough, Noah just glared at him. "What the hell does that mean?" he said, knowing that James had left out what he meant so that Noah could ask. Noah wasn't an idiot like stereotypical jocks. But he absolutely hated it when people said something in the way James had just had to make Noah ask questions and seem like an idiot. "Actually, you know what? Forget it," he told James. "You're obviously not going to tell me because rather than you know, actually tell me what's bothering you exactly, you just get all vague. But whatever," Noah said, turning his back to James and pulling himself up onto the stage. He jumped up and swung his legs onto the stage. Standing up, he took a look at the stage. It was a decent size but nowhere near as large as the football field.

[/size]

[james matthew walker]

Obsession? James scowled, again thankful for the darkness, though his face hadn't colored nearly as red as before. Did Noah suspect something, or had the word been a mere coincidence, a random part of his insult that just so happened to hit home? The remark drove his temper up even further. Maybe he was bisexual, maybe he was gay, but at least he could admit it. Noah was just like his jock buddies, just as cruel with his words as they were, and he was completely in denial. "Why the hell would I have an obsession with you? You're nothing special. Besides, you've already shoved your dick somewhere. I wouldn't want your seconds."

And then Noah turned. James longed to grab him and pull him back, to force him to finish their conversation, but he knew he would be far from strong enough. He'd never been strong to begin with, and a football player like Noah would have at least twice his muscle, if not more. Lacking a better option, James leaped up onto the stage as well and stood firm in front of him. "You know, I never said I wouldn't tell you. You assumed that I was going to be difficult, or that I was going to be a prissy gay boy and stomp off to cry about it. But I'll tell you what it means. You've already done plenty to me because you've done nothing for me. I've spent years moving from place to place, and everywhere I go, people are always the same. They think the homo is a joke, a punching bag just for them. But this school was different. You know why? Because of you." His voice was rising, growing in both volume and intensity, but James no longer cared. It was all he could do to restrain himself from slapping the boy in front of him. "This is the first place I've been where there was one person, just one, who didn't join in with their friends and beat the shit out of me. But you made it worse, because you're the one person who could stop them, and you walked away. Every single day, you do nothing! You could save me a beating, but instead you think your hands are clean because you stay out of it! That is what you've done!"

[noah christopher james]

Noah simply shook his head at James while facing the other side of the stage. Then he heard a thump with James getting on the stage. Noah instinctively turned around to make sure the kid wasn't going to attack him but instead James just stood only a few inches from Noah and talked at him. Not to him, which of course was not okay in Noah's book. He listened to what James had to say and almost let out a laugh. Noah was only nice because he was raised right. He wasn't about to tolerate James Walker right now though.

"Are you serious Walker?!" he said, his tone getting firm. "I don't stop them because unless it's practice or game time, I spend all of my time with Lucy," he told the junior boy. Noah wasn't really mad at James. He was just frustrated at people like James always accusing Noah of the worst. "And I can't stop those guys. Just because I'm captain doesn't mean my say will do anything different. I'm one person. One person who has a fiance to take care of," he told James. "My priorities are straight and I've apologized for the other guys. If you don't want to accept my apology then fine but don't go acting like you're all high and mighty and deserve some special treatment from me," Noah said, his fists closing slightly at his sides as his eyes glared at James.

[/size]

[james matthew walker]

The other's expression did nothing but infuriate him further. All Noah cared about was himself, that and his girlfriend. If it didn't hurt either of them, then what did it matter? Them and their precious baby, that was his entire world, and the fact that somebody else could possibly want to be a part of it meant nothing to him. The thought hurt like a physical pain. James glared right back, his fists clenched as well, matching the larger boy's position, but his hands were only balled so tightly to keep him from striking. "Special treatment?" he repeated, and the laugh that followed was cold and derisive. "I didn't ask you for special treatment! All I want is for you to treat me like I'm human! If your teammates were beating up your brother, wouldn't you say something? If they touched your girlfriend, wouldn't you step in? It's not because it's me. It's because it's the right thing to do, and you're the first person who's had the chance to do it."

James took a deep breath. He felt like crying in frustration. All he wanted was an apology, a real one, not the excuses Noah gave him. He'd endured enough bullies that their taunts bounced right off, but a refusal to help was far crueler. "I don't care if it changes things. I don't care if they hit me harder because of you. They could try to kill me, but I'd be happy because someone had said something. Even hatred is better than being ignored by someone you like!"

The last word rang in his ears. Like. Shit.

James didn't waste a moment. Noah couldn't hear what he said. The word was barely out of his mouth before he was off the stage, running for the door as though he could take the word with him. He'd done it. He'd let it slip. He was dead.